Making changes

My baby, yeah. My baby’s my everything. Everything I do is for my baby. Having a priority or a purpose, having something to actually want to do good for... kind of opened my eyes up really.

It started with my mum. My mum went to church with her brother one day, then she came back and she told my dad, “That’s it Hun, I don’t wanna drink anymore. I'm giving it up.” And my dad say, “Fuck off, you're all shit; you can't have you box on pay day, da da da da da.” She’d say, “No, my kids are worth more than a box.” And then, from then, my mum she pulled the weight and proved us all wrong; and everyone doubted mum, “You can't do it, you're not gonna give it up. You're all shit.” Next minute, five years later my mum’s clean of alcohol; hasn’t touched a beer since.

I had to sacrifice going out with my friends. I had to stop going on social media for quite a lot, 'cause I was on social media every day; like, where are my friends at? What are my friends doing?, type of thing. But then, I just nah, I got a purpose and if I don’t focus on that purpose I'm gonna lose that purpose; and everyone’s [clap] like, “What's your purpose? What is your true purpose?” “My purpose is my son. My son was given to me in a time where I was not in the right mindframe, and now he's here. He's gonna keep me on my toes and he's gonna balance me out and make sure I'm on, make sure I'm parenting the way he needs to be parented.” That was it really.

Every time I think of a beer, I think “Oh no, my son. Ooh no.”

My mum and my dad now... they're really supportive than when they were when we were younger. I think it’s my mum and dad trying to make up for all the time that they weren’t there.

It got me, well, in the right mindframe. I'm alcohol-free, drug-free, cigarette-free. Now I'm working towards getting my baby back in my care full-time, 'cause me and my mum share custody, just until she's actually seen the change and all of that;

I go talk to my nan, or hang out with my little cousin; or maybe I’ll go for a swim, 'cause we've got a little pool at the front of our lawn, so I go for a swim, or I walk to the park; or I just listen to music in my room. Music’s quite therapeutic for me. I feel things in lyrics.